I'm back... sort of?

It's been really cold as of late. Wow, it's finally winter. For the past week, as I get up in the morning I find a layer of ice on the rims of the window on the bedroom window. I don't think I've ever seen any ice on the window in the year and a half that I lived in our place. I guess it's that cold. It's kind of nice to take the time to just look at little things like this, to just have a small amount of time to look and reflect.

The past month and a half has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. I'm not going to go into details but there was a lot of thinking that I had to do to sort out my feelings and think about the future. I've been having trouble trying to think of what I really want to do, but I'd like to try to find that about myself again. Life is very precious, and shouldn't be taken lightly. I'd like to think about improving myself and be a healthier, happier me.

I had a lot of depressed times and I guess I still do. Depression is something that comes and goes, and it's an on-going thing. I am fine one minute and sometimes I go into a deep depression that I have a hard time getting out of. Most of the time I am in denial, I guess - try to go through and avoid thinking about it by either doing something, or just sleeping to get away. I never thought how helpful it is to have someone who would listen to my problems... even a short time to talk helps a great deal. I'm seriously thinking about going to see a therapist...

In the meantime, I have to try to write here more often. I know I haven't written here in months, but I need a place to vent sometimes... bear with me, as I don't like going into details so anything I write here may not make sense... hopefully it's going to help me through the healing process.